Entry: Baseball and Oysters Sunday, March 19, 2006



I’ve started frequenting one of those “meetup” sites.  Of course, I get some… weird messages.  What else to do but share?

 

Message from user Runner, who described himself in one sentence:  “I like oysters.”

 

Runner:  Do you kiss?

 

Me:  I have two kids. You do the math.

Runner: I'm not reall good with math, but what does kissing have to do with kids? Oh, you kiss them. Would you kiss me? Do you count kisses?

 

Me:  Let's use baseball analogies instead of math.

--First Base- Kissing.

--Second Base- Tongue kissing, breast feeling, or outside the clothes genital contact.

--Third Base- Usually this was a hand down the pants of you or your partner.

--Home Run- This was ALWAYS sex.

Therefore, since I have slid across home plate at least twice in my life (leading to the aforementioned kids) it only stands to reason that I kiss, because one can't get to home plate without first passing first base.

I rarely kiss my kids anymore. They are teenagers. It's not popular.

I would not kiss you. I don't know you.

Count kisses? Maybe in grade school. One tends to lose count after that.

 

Runner:  jeepers, well if you knew me could we do any of the first, second or third base stuff. Some people might go straight to a home run without the other babes. I bet you are a lovely kisser. You've got great lips. Get to know me.

 

Me:  Simply knowing you would not suffice. I would have to like you as well.

As for going straight to home plate - don't you know anything about baseball? Home runs don't count unless you round the bases.

I'm glad you like my lips. I am a good kisser.

If you want me to get to know you, you'll have to offer up some details beyond your kissing addiction.

 

Stay tuned for the next installment!!

   1 comments

steve
March 21, 2006   11:11 AM PST
 
lmao. what does kissing have to do with kids lmao thats funny

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