I like to get in Yahoo chat rooms from time to time and chat a bit. But when you're female, you're bound to get the not-so-occasional sex freak who wants to... well, use your imagination. It used to annoy the heck out of me. I mean, who do they think they're fooling with the 69 in their usernames? But I started looking forward to getting messages from weirdos. Why? Because they're so darn fun to mess with! And of course, you just can't keep insanity like that to yourself, so... for your viewing pleasure:
TRANSCRIPTS OF CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN MYSELF AND UNWITTING YAHOO USERSNote: Names have been changed to protect the "not so innocent".
Sunday, February 04, 2007
When Ben first messaged me, it was a series of offline messages that I neglected to save, unfortunately. Within these, he called me "his pretty" and said that he missed me.
Riiight... So when I got a reply to the "do I know you message", it just so happened that I was heading off to cook some din din, so The Girlchild took over. She kills me!
skullsnbows: Um... do I know you?
ben400: now we having meet ok
ben400: how was day
ben400: l am williams or ben
ben400: are you there
ben400: so how u donni
skullsnbows: I'm Sheila, not Donni. But I'm alright. A little on the sad side though.
ben400: l am going through ur profile u looking cuite
skullsnbows: Thank you! I'm using a special ointment.
ben400: that is great to hear
ben400: u looking for pretty
skullsnbows: I'm looking for my pileggi. Have you seen it?
skullsnbows: Yes, it is pretty.
skullsnbows: Where are you from?
ben400: were is ur location now
skullsnbows: I'm in an underground cellar. I'm afraid of trees.
ben400: my is nevanda
ben400: can u come again pretty
skullsnbows: Come where? I don't like to leave my cellar.
ben400: do u hav apic of ur
skullsnbows: My what?
ben400: ur pic
ben400: still coming up
ben400: ohhhhhhhhhhh that is so wonderful pic of my babe
ben400: u so sweet babe
ben400: u loooking good
ben400: l love u
ben400: ur name pls
ben400: that is nice name hun
ben400: ur location pretty
skullsnbows: Thanks. I was named after my Great Great Great Grandfather's hampster
ben400: that was a very wonderful story to hear pretty
ben400: such a lovelly name
skullsnbows: Gracias, gracias.
skullsnbows: Would you like some beef flavored lime jello?
ben400: l do hun
skullsnbows: I gotta go, I'll be back later.
ben400: ohhhhhhhhh pretty why
skullsnbows: It's dinner time.
ben400: how long will it take u
ben400: ok pretty
skullsnbows: About half an hour
skullsnbows: Bye now.
ben400: that is great
ben400: see u soon
Posted at 02:42 pm by Rowan
Link to this.
Monday, August 14, 2006
The tale of the Indian, the Smartass, and the Dirty Mouthed Young Man.
It's Rowan's female offspring again, bringing you yet another conversation with myself and a foreigner who expects me to be his after a few sentences. In compliance with Slightly Used Q-Tips, all names have been changed. All spelling errors are left intact. I had help from a friend on this one. Enjoy!
SAP: how r u?
KBJ: Fine, yourself?
SAP: 1st of all you tell me about your self?
KJB: And why should I do that?
SAP: im 1st
SAP: i m lavkesh here from punjab.
SAP: r u there?
SAP: now u tell me.ur asl
KBJ: 16/female/ virginia
At this point, I sent a message to JBK, telling him of the unexpected IM from SAP. I ask JBK if he will act like my boyfriend if SAP tries to hit on me. He happily complies.
SAP: wat r u doing?
SAP: wat typing?
KBJ: a message to you
SAP: but iask about your study
KBJ: My study?
SAP: in which grad ?
SAP: wat r u like n dislike?
KBJ: I like to yell random things from my car, throw ketchup packets over the aisles in Wal-Mart, I dislike pink and incompetence
SAP: iam the student of b.c.a
KBJ: I have no idea what that is.
SAP: bechular of computer application
SAP: i am singer here my hobby to writing the songs in punjabi
KBJ: That's nice. Do you sing well?
SAP: it is upto the audince but i think so well
KBJ: does the audience like you?
SAP: i think yes after singing ifeel that all audience are fresh know
KBJ: that's good
KBJ: I like to sing as well
SAP: its good
SAP: where's virginia?
KBJ: in the United States
SAP: that's cool
KBJ: I guess so
SAP: are you hav bf?
SAP: may i know the name of his self?
SAP: can you believe that you break my heart?
KBJ: Why is that?
SAP: r u there?]
SAP: can i make you my "Girl friend ".
KBJ: i have a boyfriend
SAP: then what about me ?
KBJ: What about you? We just met.
SAP: only friend.
I ignore him. Because he's annoying. Here is JBK's conversation with him.
JBK: Are you bothering KBJ?
SAP: yes are you have any promblem?
JBK: ur typing and u bothering my g/f is my problem
SAP: ok . ok if you are come to India then plz meet me then i fuck you openly.
JBK: wtf u lil indian faggot, just leave KBJ the fuck alone
SAP: u dont want to no how can i fuck you coz i have the hobby of rifals.
JBK: u need the hobby of spelling and sentence forming you dumb piece of shit
JBK: it takes u an hour just to type a reply
SAP: ok i will tell you later know we going to kill a person bye idiot
JBK: bye u dumb piece of shit
SAP: i think you need a bullet ok know i going to fuck ur gf
JBK: lol u wish u dumbass...just leave her the hell alone
SAP: plz dont mind we want check love betwin you and your gf .can make you my frind
JBK: no u cant u fucktard
JBK: no u cant be my friend
SAP: but why
JBK: b/c ur an idiot
SAP: now you cross your limit ok bye
JBK: haha, bye, as long as u leave combat alone
SAP: see you later ihave a work with my frnd
JBK: watever bye
SAP: ok bye my friend.
SAP: tainu is din layi paal pos ke wada kita si!!
JBK: ur not my friend, and bye
SAP: i say two words for u suck it
JBK: i say six words for u....shut the fuck up and bye
Does anyone know what the hell that sentence means? What language is it even? As for the codenames, ony JBK and I, KBJ, will ever know!!! Muhahahahahaha*hack hack*hahahaha
Posted at 03:43 am by organickitten
Link to this.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
I’ve started frequenting one of those “meetup” sites. Of course, I get some… weird messages. What else to do but share?
Message from user Runner, who described himself in one sentence: “I like oysters.”
Runner: Do you kiss?
Me: I have two kids. You do the math.
Runner: I'm not reall good with math, but what does kissing have to do with kids? Oh, you kiss them. Would you kiss me? Do you count kisses?
Me: Let's use baseball analogies instead of math.
--First Base- Kissing.
--Second Base- Tongue kissing, breast feeling, or outside the clothes genital contact.
--Third Base- Usually this was a hand down the pants of you or your partner.
--Home Run- This was ALWAYS sex.
Therefore, since I have slid across home plate at least twice in my life (leading to the aforementioned kids) it only stands to reason that I kiss, because one can't get to home plate without first passing first base.
I rarely kiss my kids anymore. They are teenagers. It's not popular.
I would not kiss you. I don't know you.
Count kisses? Maybe in grade school. One tends to lose count after that.
Runner: jeepers, well if you knew me could we do any of the first, second or third base stuff. Some people might go straight to a home run without the other babes. I bet you are a lovely kisser. You've got great lips. Get to know me.
Me: Simply knowing you would not suffice. I would have to like you as well.
As for going straight to home plate - don't you know anything about baseball? Home runs don't count unless you round the bases.
I'm glad you like my lips. I am a good kisser.
If you want me to get to know you, you'll have to offer up some details beyond your kissing addiction.
Stay tuned for the next installment!!
Posted at 10:11 pm by Rowan
Link to this.
Sunday, August 07, 2005
I think the blood must have drained out of his head...
New Page 1
bigdickforu: how are you doing
ROWAN: Fine, thanks.
bigdickforu: thats good
bigdickforu: so you live in bluefield
ROWAN: When I'm in the state.
bigdickforu: i live in bluefield
ROWAN: Do you really?
ROWAN: How very novel. Ever been to Ireland?
bigdickforu: your very very sexy
bigdickforu: you know that lol
bigdickforu: if you don't mind me saying
ROWAN: Yes. I know.
ROWAN: I eat lots of jello. Good for the
bigdickforu: it works
bigdickforu: your a hottie
ROWAN: That's what all the girls say.
bigdickforu: nice tongue ring too lol
ROWAN: I have a tongue ring?! Holy shit - I
was wondering what that was.
bigdickforu: i don't have any pics just cam
ROWAN: You should
get a camera, then. They're handy.
ROWAN: Aren't you cold?
bigdickforu: no lol
ROWAN: Better be careful, your Mom might
bigdickforu: i'm 21
ROWAN: The classic 21.
bigdickforu: just looking for an woman older
than me to have sex with
bigdickforu: i love older woman like u lol
bigdickforu: i do lol
ROWAN: So, have you had any luck with this
bigdickforu: yes but none of them where
close to me
ROWAN: They were actually willing to have
sex with you.
bigdickforu: most woman would lol
ROWAN: I guess that explains why you're
messaging random women in hopes of getting
bigdickforu: i was just chatting lol
ROWAN: Come on, you're not fooling anyone
with that username.
bigdickforu: its true
bigdickforu: it is big
ROWAN: I MEANT that you don't give yourself
a user name like that and expect women to
believe all you want to do is chat.
bigdickforu: yeah i understand
bigdickforu: your right sorry
bigdickforu: i'm sorry i'm a
freak like that
ROWAN: Hell, I knew that when you first
bigdickforu: nice pic
bigdickforu: when are you going to be in
bigdickforu: thats cool
bigdickforu: do you like younger men
ROWAN: Yes, especially with a nice Chianti
and same fava beans.
bigdickforu: lol ok
bigdickforu: thats me
ROWAN: What is?
bigdickforu: i said what you describe was me
ROWAN: You're beans and wine?
ROWAN: That's what I described.
you live alone or are you dating anybody
ROWAN: I don't live alone. I have 2 kids, a
dog, 4 cats, a ferret, a snake, an oscar, a
convict, and sometimes a mouse.
ROWAN: I'm not dating anyone now, I'm on the
bigdickforu: oh ok
bigdickforu: your a MILF
ROWAN: No, I'm Irish and Cherokee.
bigdickforu: lol i was just saying
bigdickforu: you could have viewed my cam
ROWAN: I felt like a child molester. Plus, I
only needed a glimpse to know what you looked
bigdickforu: no your not
bigdickforu: you think i look alright
ROWAN: I think a good meal wouldn't kill
bigdickforu: child molester is like 15, 16
bigdickforu: i do eat
ROWAN: That's good. You should eat more.
bigdickforu: i eat alot of things
bigdickforu: i'm just a skinny guy
ROWAN: Please, do NOT say it.
bigdickforu: i wasn't lol
ROWAN: You look fine.
bigdickforu: thank you
bigdickforu: you do too
ROWAN: It's the witchcraft.
bigdickforu: you put a spell on
ROWAN: I think you just have a humiliation
fetish. Besides, we only do white magic.
bigdickforu: lol oh ok
bigdickforu: so your a sexy witch uh
ROWAN: That's me.
bigdickforu: i come up and you can put any
spell on me
ROWAN: Have you been getting the impression
that I'm like, interested in you?
bigdickforu: not really
bigdickforu: i wish though
ROWAN: Sorry to disappoint... but honestly,
you didn't have much of a chance to begin with.
I have a girlfriend.
bigdickforu: oh ok
bigdickforu: but if i did i could join both
bigdickforu: i would do anything you and her
ROWAN: Oh my God yes... I will come get you
tomorrow. I need my fence repaired and the
front porch painted, and she needs a new back windshield put in her convertible.
bigdickforu: you both let me join in lol
bigdickforu: i will be your little handy man
ROWAN: Oh no, you said you'd do anything we
wanted. Home repairs are what we want.
ROWAN: Well, I've gotta go outside and dance
around a fire naked now - gotta offer up a
sacrifice to Bast. So you have a good night, and try not to annoy too many women
bigdickforu: if you ever change your mind
i'll be here
bigdickforu: witch is never
Posted at 10:34 pm by Rowan
Link to this.
Friday, July 29, 2005
A male from West Virginia... what are the odds?!
bikerman: Hello there ,I am a male from wv!
ROWAN: Hi! I'm a female from hell!
bikerman: lol i hear ya!!
bikerman: i seen you was on thought i would say hello!
ROWAN: Do we know each other?
bikerman: no i dont think so
ROWAN: Oh, the way you said it, I thought I must be on your list or something.
bikerman: no i just seen you on line !
ROWAN: I see.
bikerman: I live between hinton and athens
bikerman: i am 44 male !
bikerman: married male that is lol
ROWAN: Incidentally, your profile says you are 47.
bikerman: lol just about forgot lol
bikerman: where are you?
ROWAN: In my bedroom.
ROWAN: What did you just about forget?
bikerman: cool nice to meet ya!
bikerman: about me been married! lol
ROWAN: You forgot you were married?
bikerman: just kidding!
bikerman: you married? kids?
ROWAN: I'm divorced, have two teenagers.
bikerman: well nice to meet ya!
bikerman: where in wv you live if i may ask!
bikerman: cool not to far from me!
ROWAN: Not too.
bikerman: i am that way some!
ROWAN: Is that so?
bikerman: can i add ya?
bikerman: hell i dont know lol
bikerman: just thought i would ask! but thats ok!
ROWAN: I don't add people unless I know them fairly well. I'm paranoid, and
don't like to be watched. Comes from all those years in the CIA.
bikerman: i understand!
ROWAN: Parle vouz Francais?
bikerman: do what??
ROWAN: Okay, I guess not.
ROWAN: So what made you want to talk to me?
bikerman: well i seen you on line
bikerman: and your a female lol
ROWAN: I am? Oh yeah... I forgot.
bikerman: lol i hear ya!
ROWAN: You have good hearing!
bikerman: well i have to go nice talking to ya! hope to talk to ya again!
ROWAN: Highly doubtful, I'm having my tongue split.
bikerman: ok cool!
Posted at 08:49 pm by Rowan
Link to this.
Saturday, May 28, 2005
rowan : I'm a little old for you, don't you think?
athleticdude69 : nah, getting caught up on age is superficial in my opinion
athleticdude69 : why, what do u think?
rowan : I think that maturity has a lot to do with it.
athleticdude69 : i concur.....however, i feel as if im mature as any 30 year old i speak with
athleticdude69 : so its no issue with me
rowan : Well, I've got five years on you. And, I have a girlfriend.
That was just a tiny little fib. I don't really have a girlfriend.
athleticguy69_webcam : 5 years is nothing
athleticguy69_webcam : are you bisexual?
rowan : Yes.
athleticguy69_webcam : you have incredibly sexy eyes
athleticguy69_webcam : and the tongue ring is always enticing
rowan : You're just looking to get laid.
athleticguy69_webcam : to make new friends...that never hurts though?
athleticguy69_webcam : not judgemental are we
rowan : No, just perceptive. Remember your profile pic? And gee, the 69_webcam is a dead giveaway.
Why don't they just say "I like oral sex and I want to show you my penis on webcam."? At least you'd know they were honest.
athleticguy69_webcam : didnt like the pic ?
rowan : Did I say anything about liking or not liking it? Anyone who isn't trying to get a piece of ass wouldn't put a pic like that on their profile.
athleticguy69_webcam : you have some truth im not going to lie...its also a good attention getter though
athleticguy69_webcam : back to my question, did u like it?
rowan : Do you think I do?
athleticguy69_webcam : yea i do now, otherwise you wouldve already said no lol
rowan : I'm not rude.
athleticguy69_webcam : so you didnt...?
rowan : I don't like those type of pics. I feel you should know someone before you see them half naked.
athleticguy69_webcam : oh...im just more laid back with nudity...its no big deal anywhere in the world except u.s.
rowan : You should have a little more respect for other people.
athleticguy69_webcam : yes ma'am, all you had to say was not interested
rowan : I told you. You didn't listen. Sorry.
Posted at 05:04 pm by Rowan
Link to this.
Friday, May 27, 2005
This is another chat starring The Boychild... with a surprise ending!
rowan : Hey there
cuteguyyy : asl?
cuteguyyy : hi there..
rowan : take a look at my profile there.
cuteguyyy : do you cam? date?
rowan : I don't cam, sorry. Last one I had broke up over a miscalculation of too much information which was processed into that machine that is used by the government to creat giant vatts of cheese.
rowan : I do datethough
rowan : Date though*
cuteguyyy : waht is that
rowan : What is what?
cuteguyyy : Date though*
cuteguyyy : u date ??
rowan : Oh, I was just fixing my typo
cuteguyyy : i live in DC!!
rowan : On occasion
rowan : I don't. Used to
cuteguyyy : do u live far from DC..
rowan : As of now, yes I do
cuteguyyy : do u hca cam?
rowan : No I don't. The last one I had, was stolen from me by my son who saw it fit to use it to show the entire world his privates
cuteguyyy : share pics>?
rowan : Only the one I have right there as of now. I'm camera shy.
cuteguyyy : i what aren't shy??
rowan : Could you please rephrase that?
cuteguyyy : in what aren'y shy?
rowan : I am not shy in telephone booths. Because no one can be in there with me. It's such a tight squeeze.
cuteguyyy : do u see my pic?
rowan : Can't say that I do..
rowan : Wait, now I do
cuteguyyy : want to talk dirty at the phone?>
rowan : Yea, let me go get my.. no wait. I'll use the one up my dog's behind
rowan : You wanna call me? I like the noises that phone makes when it rings.
cuteguyyy : as u want
rowan : sweet
rowan : Let me find my long list of numbers. I have so many phones! You just don't even know.
cuteguyyy : why u have many phones?
rowan : I used to be a social worker for the Janitor's at my son's gradeschool.
rowan : Terribly sorry.
rowan : Some weird Indian guy came to our house trying to take my land.
rowan : I can't find the number... Can you give me yours??
cuteguyyy : XXX-XXX-XXXX
rowan : Wow... I didn't live where you are.
cuteguyyy : where u live?
rowan : De Nang
rowan : It's in Vietnam
cuteguyyy : ops..
rowan : ops?
rowan : You with the military or something?
And now for the surprise ending I promised.
Since cuteguyyy was nice enough to give me his phone number, I thought that it would be fun to give him a call... anonymously, of course. So I gave The Girlchild the phone, and she rang him up. When he answered, she used this very fake Vietnamese voice, and said, "Hello! This is Rowan!" and then some jibberish that sounded like a foreign language. Then, we made the dog growl into the phone.
Yes, it was very juvenille. So? hehe
He hung up, though. Guess he didn't wanna talk dirty after all!
Posted at 07:22 pm by Rowan
Link to this.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Another Boychild Adventure
rowan (9:40:53 PM): Hey there
sadstory (9:41:01 PM): i am 24/m/uk
sadstory (9:41:01 PM): u?
rowan (9:41:23 PM): I have a nice tongue, how's that work?
sadstory (9:41:35 PM): i saw it
rowan (9:41:55 PM): You like huh?
sadstory (9:42:11 PM): ya
rowan (9:43:48 PM): I like it too..
sadstory (9:43:53 PM): cool
sadstory (9:43:56 PM): do u have cam?
rowan (9:44:13 PM): No I don't, in fact. Cuteguyyy asked me the same question.
sadstory (9:44:48 PM): u have another pics
rowan (9:45:08 PM): I have a cucumbers
sadstory (9:45:28 PM): can i see it
rowan (9:45:46 PM): My cucumbers?
sadstory (9:45:50 PM): ya
rowan (9:45:53 PM): I have a pool tables too! Wanna see them?
sadstory (9:46:18 PM): ya
sadstory (9:46:19 PM): lol
rowan (9:46:27 PM): Think it's funny do you?
sadstory (9:46:36 PM): no
rowan (9:46:40 PM): I can't show either. I have no way to. That's why I have that little animation girl there
rowan (9:46:47 PM): That's as close to the real life me.
sadstory (9:46:51 PM): ok
rowan (9:47:05 PM): 5 out of 4 people ask me that question. Those same people don't know how to count.
sadstory (9:47:26 PM): ya
sadstory (9:47:27 PM): may be
rowan (9:47:55 PM): Some don't know how to put words together correctly either.
sadstory (9:48:06 PM): ya
rowan (9:56:58 PM): I've seen your picture on the Yahoo Personals bar. You must be rich or something to have your own banner.
FYI: This guy's profile picture was the picture of the man in the Yahoo Personals ads. What a lameo.
sadstory (9:57:11 PM): no i am not rich
rowan (9:57:57 PM): Sorry, should not have judged the book by it's cover. How nice it must be to have your picture on yahoo's banners
Posted at 09:51 pm by Rowan
Link to this.
Featuring... The Boychild
rowan (9:40:28 PM): Hello
thanhtuan (9:44:18 PM): yes i,m here
rowan (9:44:45 PM): I am here too.
rowan (9:44:55 PM): Did we go to different schools together by chance?
thanhtuan (9:46:05 PM): i do not understand what you say
thanhtuan (9:46:19 PM): where are you now
rowan (9:47:39 PM): I am in the bedroom.
thanhtuan (9:48:27 PM): but you live in USA ORE VIET NAM
rowan (9:48:59 PM): I live in Vietnam. It's this whole other country.
thanhtuan (9:49:26 PM): in HCM OR HA NOI
rowan (9:49:51 PM): What's the place that them there Americans bombed?
thanhtuan (9:51:03 PM): NO there are in viet nam
rowan (9:51:39 PM): You have no right to scream at me Mister. I merely asked you a question. Let me ask you another. This time be nice. Are you in Vietnam??
thanhtuan (9:52:33 PM): no i living in American (California)
rowan (9:53:48 PM): I am living in Vietnam. Very close to China, only not. It's kinda like Coke too! Only not.. I live in De wang
rowan (9:53:57 PM): I mean, De nang
thanhtuan (9:54:43 PM): you live in Da Nang that is Hoi An
rowan (9:55:44 PM): I don't live in De nang. I am here right now.
thanhtuan (9:57:20 PM): oh De nang where about in Viet nam
rowan (9:58:37 PM): As in where do I actually live?
thanhtuan (10:01:36 PM): one time i ask you where are you living now in the world
rowan (10:01:51 PM): Yes, I am living in the world.
thanhtuan (10:03:49 PM): oh if you say this way i'm very bore
rowan (10:04:29 PM): You're a large mammal with lots of fur? I never said that!
thanhtuan (10:07:16 PM): yes i know but i want to know you live in viet nam or Amer because i love Viet nam i want to visit Viet nam
rowan (10:07:39 PM): I told you I live in Vietnam.
thanhtuan (10:09:47 PM): Oh where is about in viet nam?
rowan (10:10:05 PM): There is no . in Vietnam.
rowan (10:10:30 PM): Oh wait, that was just a bug on my screen.
rowan (10:10:44 PM): Are you coming to Vietnam?
rowan (10:10:50 PM): Can you bring jello?
thanhtuan (10:11:32 PM): yes next week i come viet nam
thanhtuan (10:12:02 PM): what jello?
rowan (10:12:18 PM): Really? I will tell my uncle Fox. He is going to make a cake for the starving victims of Crabtree Circle.
rowan (10:13:05 PM): I have to go bathe my tulips now.
thanhtuan (10:17:57 PM): Really
Posted at 09:05 pm by Rowan
Link to this.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
dcw (8:38:05 PM): Hi
rowan (8:38:22 PM): Hello.
dcw (8:38:34 PM): How are you?
rowan (8:39:02 PM): Mediocre. How are you?
dcw (8:41:38 PM): OK
dcw (8:41:46 PM): How was your day?
rowan (8:42:39 PM): Dehumanizing. How was yours?
dcw (8:43:26 PM): Not bad
dcw (8:43:38 PM): Got any other pic's?
Hold on. I said my day was dehumanizing, and he just goes on to ask for more pics? He probably doesn't even know the definition of dehumanizing.
rowan (8:44:01 PM): Something wrong with the one that's there?
dcw (8:44:18 PM):
rowan (8:45:17 PM): If you have to think about it, then the answer must be yes.
dcw (8:46:29 PM): It is animated
rowan (8:47:02 PM): Ever thought about looking at my profile?
dcw (8:48:21 PM): I have
dcw (8:48:23 PM): Sexy
rowan (8:48:41 PM): My profile is sexy?
dcw (8:49:09 PM): Your PIC IS!
rowan (8:49:18 PM): I wasn't trying to be sexy.
dcw (8:49:32 PM):
dcw (8:54:06 PM):
I was going to start ignoring him here, because I had better things to do, but The Boychild took over to annoy dcw further.
rowan (9:15:17 PM): Sexy, huh?
dcw (9:15:25 PM): yesssssssssssssss
dcw (9:15:26 PM): yesssssssssssssss
dcw (9:15:27 PM): yesssssssssssssss
Captain, man overboard.
rowan (9:15:34 PM): You like sexy?
dcw (9:15:59 PM): YES
rowan (9:16:37 PM): You sure you are looking at the right message window?
dcw (9:16:58 PM): The pic on your profile is HOT!
rowan (9:17:33 PM): Don't know if it's just me, but I seem to find that when typing a sentence, I capitalize only what needs to be.
dcw (9:18:00 PM):
rowan (9:18:42 PM): Need to shave? Or just thinking too hard? Be careful. Don't want you to spill your brains over a simple statement.
dcw (9:19:01 PM):
rowan (9:19:14 PM): Stop? As in.. No more talking?
rowan (9:19:25 PM): Are you cutting me off?? Cause I like ham!
rowan (9:19:47 PM): Hairy ham, now that's sexy.
rowan (9:22:13 PM): Since you are indeed cutting me off, I would like to state yet another simple thing. Sending multiple messages that relate to being called sexy is rather amusing at first. Even accepted as something of enjoyment. But whenever you send the messages constantly.. Sorry, trying to calm down. But this darn pimple on my forehead is throbbing out of control. I suggest you slow your roll. And eat it.
rowan (9:32:05 PM): That's also kind of like that Weird Al song. Just eat it. You know? He talks about ham. He says, "Ham on.. Ham on. Ham on whole wheat." He's one of my many role models. Alright. So like I say. If you're going somewhere. You had better be running. Cause you never know what you are going to get. Unless you look underneath the box.
rowan (10:13:35 PM): Why did you stop talking to me? Is it because I have 12 toes?
rowan (10:14:35 PM): Are you ignoring me?
rowan (10:14:40 PM): If you are ignoring me, press 12.
rowan (10:14:42 PM): For my toes.
Posted at 07:04 pm by Rowan
Link to this.