I like to get in Yahoo chat rooms from time to time and chat a bit. But when you're female, you're bound to get the not-so-occasional sex freak who wants to... well, use your imagination. It used to annoy the heck out of me. I mean, who do they think they're fooling with the 69 in their usernames? But I started looking forward to getting messages from weirdos. Why? Because they're so darn fun to mess with! And of course, you just can't keep insanity like that to yourself, so... for your viewing pleasure:

TRANSCRIPTS OF CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN MYSELF AND UNWITTING YAHOO USERS

Note: Names have been changed to protect the "not so innocent".



   

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Sunday, February 04, 2007

The Wizard of Ick

When Ben first messaged me, it was a series of offline messages that I neglected to save, unfortunately.  Within these, he called me "his pretty" and said that he missed me.

Riiight... So when I got a reply to the "do I know you message", it just so happened that I was heading off to cook some din din, so The Girlchild took over.  She kills me!

skullsnbows: Um... do I know you?
ben400: now we having meet ok
ben400: how was day
ben400: l am williams or ben
ben400: are you there
skullsnbows: Hello?
ben400: hi
skullsnbows: hi
ben400: so how u donni
skullsnbows: I'm Sheila, not Donni. But I'm alright. A little on the sad side though.
ben400: l am going through ur profile u looking cuite
skullsnbows: Thank you! I'm using a special ointment.
ben400: ok
ben400: that is great to hear
ben400: u looking for pretty
skullsnbows: I'm looking for my pileggi. Have you seen it?
ben400: no
ben400: pretty
skullsnbows: Yes, it is pretty.
skullsnbows: Where are you from?
ben400: were is ur location now
skullsnbows: I'm in an underground cellar. I'm afraid of trees.
ben400: my is nevanda
ben400: what
skullsnbows: What?
ben400: can u come again pretty
skullsnbows: Come where? I don't like to leave my cellar.
ben400: do u hav apic of ur
skullsnbows: My what?
ben400: ur pic
ben400: still coming up
ben400: ohhhhhhhhhhh that is so wonderful pic of my babe
ben400: u so sweet babe
ben400: u loooking good
ben400: l love u
ben400: ur name pls
skullsnbows: Maricella
ben400: that is nice name hun
ben400: ur location pretty
skullsnbows: Thanks. I was named after my Great Great Great Grandfather's hampster
ben400: lol
ben400: that was a very wonderful story to hear pretty
ben400: such a lovelly name
skullsnbows: Gracias, gracias.
skullsnbows: Would you like some beef flavored lime jello?
ben400: l do hun
skullsnbows: I gotta go, I'll be back later.
ben400: ohhhhhhhhh pretty why
skullsnbows: It's dinner time.
ben400: how long will it take u
ben400: ok pretty
skullsnbows: About half an hour
skullsnbows: Bye now.
ben400: that is great
ben400: ok
ben400: see u soon


Posted at 02:42 pm by Rowan



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