I like to get in Yahoo chat rooms from time to time and chat a bit. But when you're female, you're bound to get the not-so-occasional sex freak who wants to... well, use your imagination. It used to annoy the heck out of me. I mean, who do they think they're fooling with the 69 in their usernames? But I started looking forward to getting messages from weirdos. Why? Because they're so darn fun to mess with! And of course, you just can't keep insanity like that to yourself, so... for your viewing pleasure:

TRANSCRIPTS OF CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN MYSELF AND UNWITTING YAHOO USERS

Note: Names have been changed to protect the "not so innocent".



   

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Monday, August 14, 2006

The tale of the Indian, the Smartass, and the Dirty Mouthed Young Man.

It's Rowan's female offspring again, bringing you yet another conversation with myself and a foreigner who expects me to be his after a few sentences.  In compliance with Slightly Used Q-Tips, all names have been changed.  All spelling errors are left intact.  I had help from a friend on this one.  Enjoy!

 

SAP: hi

KBJ: Hi

SAP: how r u?

KBJ: Fine, yourself?

SAP: 1st of all you tell me about your self?

KJB: And why should I do that?

SAP: ok

SAP: im 1st

SAP: i m lavkesh here from punjab.

SAP: r u there?

KBJ: Yes

SAP: now u tell me.ur asl

KBJ: 16/female/ virginia

SAP: 18/m/punjab

 

At this point, I sent a message to JBK, telling him of the unexpected IM from SAP.  I ask JBK if he will act like my boyfriend if SAP tries to hit on me.  He happily complies.  

 

KBJ: ok

SAP: wat r u doing?

KJB: typing

SAP: wat typing?

KBJ: a message to you

SAP: ok

SAP: but iask about your study

KBJ: My study?

SAP: in which grad ?

KBJ: 11th

SAP: wat r u like n dislike?

KBJ: I like to yell random things from my car, throw ketchup packets over the aisles in Wal-Mart, I dislike pink and incompetence

SAP: iam the student of b.c.a

KBJ: I have no idea what that is.

SAP: bechular of computer application

KBJ: ohh

SAP: i am singer here my hobby to writing the songs in punjabi

KBJ: That's nice. Do you sing well?

SAP: it is upto the audince but i think so well

KBJ: does the audience like you?

SAP: i think yes after singing ifeel that all audience are fresh know

KBJ: that's good

KBJ: I like to sing as well

SAP: its good

SAP: where's virginia?

KBJ: in the United States

SAP: that's cool

KBJ: I guess so

SAP: are you hav bf?

KBJ: Yes

SAP: L

SAP: may i know the name of his self?

KBJ: JBK

SAP: can you believe that you break my heart?

KBJ: Why is that?

SAP: r u there?]

KBJ: yes

SAP: can i make you my "Girl friend ".

KBJ: i have a boyfriend

SAP: then what about me ?

KBJ: What about you? We just met.

SAP: only friend.

KBJ: Acquaintances

 

I ignore him.  Because he's annoying.  Here is JBK's conversation with him.

 

JBK: Are you bothering KBJ?

SAP: yes are you have any promblem?

JBK: yes

JBK: ur typing and u bothering my g/f is my problem

SAP: ok . ok if you are come to India then plz meet me then i fuck you openly.

JBK: wtf u lil indian faggot, just leave KBJ the fuck alone

SAP: u dont want to no how can i fuck you coz i have the hobby of rifals.

JBK: u need the hobby of spelling and sentence forming you dumb piece of shit

JBK: it takes u an hour just to type a reply

SAP: ok i will tell you later  know we going to kill a person bye idiot

JBK: bye u dumb piece of shit

SAP: i think you need a bullet  ok know i going to fuck ur gf

JBK: lol u wish u dumbass...just leave her the hell alone

SAP: plz dont mind we want check love betwin you and your gf .can make you my frind

JBK: no u cant u fucktard

SAP: wat?

JBK: no u cant be my friend

SAP: but why

JBK: b/c ur an idiot

SAP: now you cross your limit ok bye

JBK: haha, bye, as long as u leave combat alone

SAP: see you later ihave a work with my frnd

JBK: watever bye

SAP: ok bye my friend.

SAP: tainu is din layi paal pos ke wada kita si!!

JBK: ur not my friend, and bye

SAP: i say two words for u suck it

JBK: i say six words for u....shut the fuck up and bye

 

Does anyone know what the hell that sentence means?  What language is it even?  As for the codenames, ony JBK and I, KBJ, will ever know!!!  Muhahahahahaha*hack hack*hahahaha


Posted at 03:43 am by organickitten

Zac
August 14, 2006   04:28 AM PDT
 
Haha! He needs to learn2spell lol, thats awesome


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