I like to get in Yahoo chat rooms from time to time and chat a bit. But when you're female, you're bound to get the not-so-occasional sex freak who wants to... well, use your imagination. It used to annoy the heck out of me. I mean, who do they think they're fooling with the 69 in their usernames? But I started looking forward to getting messages from weirdos. Why? Because they're so darn fun to mess with! And of course, you just can't keep insanity like that to yourself, so... for your viewing pleasure:

TRANSCRIPTS OF CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN MYSELF AND UNWITTING YAHOO USERS

Note: Names have been changed to protect the "not so innocent".



   

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Sunday, August 07, 2005

I think the blood must have drained out of his head...

New Page 1

ROWAN: Yes?

bigdickforu: how are you doing

ROWAN: Fine, thanks.

bigdickforu: thats good

bigdickforu: so you live in bluefield

ROWAN: When I'm in the state.

bigdickforu: i live in bluefield

ROWAN: Do you really?

bigdickforu: yes

ROWAN: How very novel. Ever been to Ireland?

bigdickforu: nope

bigdickforu: your very very sexy

bigdickforu: you know that lol

bigdickforu: if you don't mind me saying

ROWAN: Yes. I know.

ROWAN: I eat lots of jello. Good for the complexion.

bigdickforu:

bigdickforu: it works

bigdickforu: your a hottie

ROWAN: That's what all the girls say.

bigdickforu: nice tongue ring too lol

ROWAN: I have a tongue ring?! Holy shit - I was wondering what that was.

bigdickforu: lol

bigdickforu: i don't have any pics just cam

ROWAN: You should get a camera, then. They're handy.

bigdickforu: ok

ROWAN: Aren't you cold?

bigdickforu: no lol

ROWAN: Better be careful, your Mom might walk in.

bigdickforu: lol

bigdickforu: no

bigdickforu: i'm 21

ROWAN: The classic 21.

bigdickforu: just looking for an woman older than me to have sex with

bigdickforu: i love older woman like u lol

ROWAN:

bigdickforu: i do lol

ROWAN: So, have you had any luck with this approach before?

bigdickforu: yes but none of them where close to me

ROWAN: They were actually willing to have sex with you.

bigdickforu: yes

bigdickforu: most woman would lol

ROWAN: I guess that explains why you're messaging random women in hopes of getting
lucky.

bigdickforu: i was just chatting lol

ROWAN: Come on, you're not fooling anyone with that username.

bigdickforu: its true

bigdickforu: it is big

ROWAN: I MEANT that you don't give yourself a user name like that and expect women to
believe all you want to do is chat.

bigdickforu: yeah i understand

bigdickforu: your right sorry

bigdickforu: i'm sorry i'm a freak like that

ROWAN: Hell, I knew that when you first messaged me.

bigdickforu: lol

bigdickforu: nice pic

ROWAN: Thanks.

bigdickforu: when are you going to be in bluefield

ROWAN: Tomorrow.

bigdickforu: thats cool

bigdickforu: do you like younger men

ROWAN: Yes, especially with a nice Chianti and same fava beans.

bigdickforu: lol ok

bigdickforu: thats me

ROWAN: What is?

bigdickforu: i said what you describe was me lol

ROWAN: You're beans and wine?

bigdickforu: no

bigdickforu: lol

ROWAN: That's what I described.

bigdickforu: oklol

bigdickforu: you live alone or are you dating anybody

ROWAN: I don't live alone. I have 2 kids, a dog, 4 cats, a ferret, a snake, an oscar, a
convict, and sometimes a mouse.

bigdickforu: lol

ROWAN: I'm not dating anyone now, I'm on the computer.

bigdickforu: oh ok

bigdickforu: your a MILF

ROWAN: No, I'm Irish and Cherokee.

bigdickforu: lol i was just saying

bigdickforu: you could have viewed my cam moew

bigdickforu: more

ROWAN: I felt like a child molester. Plus, I only needed a glimpse to know what you looked
like.

bigdickforu: no your not

bigdickforu: you think i look alright

ROWAN: I think a good meal wouldn't kill you.

bigdickforu: child molester is like 15, 16

bigdickforu: i do eat

ROWAN: That's good. You should eat more.

bigdickforu: i eat alot of things

bigdickforu: i'm just a skinny guy

ROWAN: Please, do NOT say it.

bigdickforu: i wasn't lol

ROWAN: You look fine.

bigdickforu: thank you

bigdickforu: you do too

ROWAN: It's the witchcraft.

bigdickforu: no

bigdickforu: you put a spell on me lol

bigdickforu:

ROWAN: I think you just have a humiliation fetish. Besides, we only do white magic.

bigdickforu: lol oh ok

bigdickforu: so your a sexy witch uh

ROWAN: That's me.

bigdickforu: i come up and you can put any spell on me

ROWAN: Have you been getting the impression that I'm like, interested in you?

bigdickforu: not really

bigdickforu: i wish though

ROWAN: Sorry to disappoint... but honestly, you didn't have much of a chance to begin with.
I have a girlfriend.

bigdickforu: oh ok

bigdickforu: but if i did i could join both of you

bigdickforu: i would do anything you and her wanted

ROWAN: Oh my God yes... I will come get you tomorrow. I need my fence repaired and the
front porch painted, and she needs a new back windshield put in her convertible.

bigdickforu: you both let me join in lol

bigdickforu: i will be your little handy man lol

ROWAN: Oh no, you said you'd do anything we wanted. Home repairs are what we want.

ROWAN: Well, I've gotta go outside and dance around a fire naked now - gotta offer up a
sacrifice to Bast. So you have a good night, and try not to annoy too many women on the
internet.

bigdickforu: ok

bigdickforu: if you ever change your mind i'll be here

bigdickforu: witch is never
 


Posted at 10:34 pm by Rowan



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