I like to get in Yahoo chat rooms from time to time and chat a bit. But when you're female, you're bound to get the not-so-occasional sex freak who wants to... well, use your imagination. It used to annoy the heck out of me. I mean, who do they think they're fooling with the 69 in their usernames? But I started looking forward to getting messages from weirdos. Why? Because they're so darn fun to mess with! And of course, you just can't keep insanity like that to yourself, so... for your viewing pleasure:

TRANSCRIPTS OF CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN MYSELF AND UNWITTING YAHOO USERS

Note: Names have been changed to protect the "not so innocent".



   

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Friday, May 27, 2005

Vietnam calling!

 This is another chat starring The Boychild... with a surprise ending!

 rowan
: Hey there
 cuteguyyy : asl?
 cuteguyyy : hi there..
 rowan : take a look at my profile there.
 cuteguyyy : do you cam? date?
 rowan  : I don't cam, sorry. Last one I had broke up over a miscalculation of too much information which was processed into that machine that is used by the government to creat giant vatts of cheese.
 rowan  : I do datethough
 rowan  : Date though*
 cuteguyyy  : waht is that
 rowan  : What is what?
 cuteguyyy : Date though*
 cuteguyyy : u date ??
 rowan : Oh, I was just fixing my typo
 cuteguyyy : i live in DC!!
 rowan : On occasion
 rowan : I don't. Used to
 cuteguyyy : do u live far from DC..
 rowan : As of now, yes I do
 cuteguyyy : do u hca cam?
 rowan : No I don't. The last one I had, was stolen from me by my son who saw it fit to use it to show the entire world his privates
 cuteguyyy : share pics>?
 rowan : Only the one I have right there as of now. I'm camera shy.
 cuteguyyy : i what aren't shy??
 rowan : Could you please rephrase that?
 cuteguyyy : in what aren'y shy?
 rowan : I am not shy in telephone booths. Because no one can be in there with me. It's such a tight squeeze.
 cuteguyyy : do u see my pic?
 rowan : Can't say that I do..

 
rowan : Wait, now I do
 cuteguyyy : want to talk dirty at the phone?>
 rowan : Yea, let me go get my.. no wait. I'll use the one up my dog's behind
 rowan : You wanna call me? I like the noises that phone makes when it rings.
 cuteguyyy : as u want
 rowan : sweet
 rowan : Let me find my long list of numbers. I have so many phones! You just don't even know.
 cuteguyyy  : why u have many phones?
 rowan : I used to be a social worker for the Janitor's at my son's gradeschool.
 rowan : Terribly sorry.
 rowan : Some weird Indian guy came to our house trying to take my land.
 rowan : I can't find the number... Can you give me yours??
 cuteguyyy : XXX-XXX-XXXX
 rowan : Wow... I didn't live where you are.
 cuteguyyy : where u live?
 rowan : De Nang
 rowan : It's in Vietnam
 cuteguyyy : ops..
 rowan : ops?
 rowan : You with the military or something?

And now for the surprise ending I promised. 

Since cuteguyyy was nice enough to give me his phone number, I thought that it would be fun to give him a call... anonymously, of course.  So I gave The Girlchild the phone, and she rang him up.  When he answered, she used this very fake Vietnamese voice, and said, "Hello!  This is Rowan!" and then some jibberish that sounded like a foreign language.  Then, we made the dog growl into the phone.

Yes, it was very juvenille.  So?  hehe

He hung up, though.  Guess he didn't wanna talk dirty after all!

Posted at 07:22 pm by Rowan



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