I like to get in Yahoo chat rooms from time to time and chat a bit. But when you're female, you're bound to get the not-so-occasional sex freak who wants to... well, use your imagination. It used to annoy the heck out of me. I mean, who do they think they're fooling with the 69 in their usernames? But I started looking forward to getting messages from weirdos. Why? Because they're so darn fun to mess with! And of course, you just can't keep insanity like that to yourself, so... for your viewing pleasure:

TRANSCRIPTS OF CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN MYSELF AND UNWITTING YAHOO USERS

Note: Names have been changed to protect the "not so innocent".



   

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Thursday, May 26, 2005

Featuring... The Boychild

rowan (9:40:28 PM): Hello
 thanhtuan (9:44:18 PM): yes i,m here
 rowan (9:44:45 PM): I am here too.
 rowan (9:44:55 PM): Did we go to different schools together by chance?
 thanhtuan (9:46:05 PM): i do not understand what you say
 thanhtuan (9:46:19 PM): where are you now
 rowan (9:47:39 PM): I am in the bedroom.
 thanhtuan (9:48:27 PM): but you live in USA ORE VIET NAM
 rowan (9:48:59 PM): I live in Vietnam. It's this whole other country.
 thanhtuan (9:49:26 PM): in HCM OR HA NOI
 rowan (9:49:51 PM): What's the place that them there Americans bombed?
 thanhtuan (9:51:03 PM): NO there are in viet nam
 rowan (9:51:39 PM): You have no right to scream at me Mister. I merely asked you a question. Let me ask you another. This time be nice. Are you in Vietnam??
 thanhtuan (9:52:33 PM): no i living in American (California)
 rowan (9:53:48 PM): I am living in Vietnam.  Very close to China, only not. It's kinda like Coke too! Only not.. I live in De wang
 rowan (9:53:57 PM): I mean, De nang
 thanhtuan (9:54:43 PM): you live in Da Nang that is Hoi An
 rowan (9:55:44 PM): I don't live in De nang. I am here right now.
 thanhtuan (9:57:20 PM): oh De nang where about in Viet nam
 rowan (9:58:37 PM): As in where do I actually live?
 thanhtuan (10:01:36 PM): one time i ask you where are you living now in the world
 rowan (10:01:51 PM): Yes, I am living in the world.
 thanhtuan (10:03:49 PM): oh if you say this way i'm very bore
 rowan (10:04:29 PM): You're a large mammal with lots of fur? I never said that!
 thanhtuan (10:07:16 PM): yes i know but i want to know you live in viet nam or Amer because i love Viet nam i want to visit Viet nam
 rowan (10:07:39 PM): I told you I live in Vietnam.
 thanhtuan (10:09:47 PM): Oh where is about in viet nam?
 rowan (10:10:05 PM): There is no . in Vietnam.
 rowan (10:10:30 PM): Oh wait, that was just a bug on my screen.
 rowan (10:10:44 PM): Are you coming to Vietnam?
 rowan (10:10:50 PM): Can you bring jello?
 thanhtuan (10:11:32 PM): yes next week i come viet nam
 thanhtuan (10:12:02 PM): what jello?
 rowan (10:12:18 PM): Really? I will tell my uncle Fox. He is going to make a cake for the starving victims of Crabtree Circle.
 rowan (10:13:05 PM): I have to go bathe my tulips now.
 thanhtuan (10:17:57 PM): Really

Posted at 09:05 pm by Rowan



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